Learn To Deal With Severe Family Conflict In Divorce Cases

Severe Conflict in divorce

This family was impaired before the emotional dissolution of marriage, and certainly before the legal dissolution of marriage. Conflict in rampant with threatening violence, verbal abuse threatening harm, the child is experiencing difficulties at school peer relationships, behavior in and out of the home. The parents more likely than not are impaired, emotionally, and psychological. There may be overlays of drug and alcohol abuse. There is alienating behavior, using and abusing the child in the process. The parents speak ill of the other parent in front of the child, escalating in intensity and threats. There may be physical acting out and violence by the parents in front of the child and by the child in the home or elsewhere. The child may be experiencing physical as well as emotional symptoms of the escalating conflict. This family and these parents need skilled experienced family lawyers. The attorney should specialize in amicably resolving high conflict divorces, not the “bomber who destroys families using litigation instead of intervention.

This family needs intensive immediate help. There is likely little trust respect and mutual responsibility in this family. The child is likely to be in the middle and blame himself or herself. All members of the family need to be in therapy with their own therapist. Evaluations for impairment and agreement to follow the recommendations for treatment must be stipulated, in writing, with consequences for failure to comply. If the client or both parties not follow the lawyers recommendations, then an immediate appointment of a guardian ad litem are imperative.

Until the interventions are able to take place, this family needs structure and detailed parenting provisions. It may be that one parent is restricted in participation and contact, until she or he complies with certain interventions. It may be that both parents are impaired to such an extent intimate responsibility, sole parental responsibility or temporary custody with another family member must be provided in the interim or permanent if there is still detriment to the minor child. The court must consider a dependency and whether the child should be removed from both parents.

A sample provision in a parenting plan for these parents regarding co-parental relationship and communication may be as follows: () we agree and/or ( ) the court had determined: that our parenting relationship has been one of continued conflict and it is unlikely that our positions regarding parenting decisions and the best interest of the minor children will change or become cooperative and flexible. ( ) We agree ( ) the court has determined sole parental responsibility on specific decision making to meet the needs of the minor children as detailed in this parenting plan, that one parent may have final decision as to a specific need other children. We ( ) agree ( ) the court had determined; the following MANDATORY interventions to minimize conflict detrimental to the minor children:
(1) A combination of:
___ Therapeutic mediation (specify how often and which licensed therapist)
___ Guardian Ad Litem, to monitor and protect the children’s interest pursuant to the standard order of appointment.
OR
___ parenting coordination pursuant to the standard order or appointment
___Individual counseling (specify how often and which licensed therapist)
___ Completion of an eight-week parent effectiveness training course.

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