The effects of divorce for men have been competently documented, but unusually not advertised anyway near as muchas the impact on women. Ladies of course battle and go through the same dark times as husbands undergo and many dissimilar issues as well, but the mental health damage to men after divorce is just not as well known.
Perchance society simply has the quaint idea that guys will cope as seems to always be the case, as if it is just in our nature to endure minus any problems (this is of course total bullshit). Or if you are a cynic, then you might point the finger at a concentrated attempt of the media and feminist groups who want to advertise their own gender and put men on a lower peg. I am not that cynical myself, but i do think we would be naive to think these things do not exist on some level. Then of course there is simply us husbands and our often stubborn personality to not get help and not talk about these things. All together it adds a lack of information for guys going through a rough marital breakdown. So lets take the first step and get some information out there on the impact of marital breakdown on guys.
This is the principal part of the whole damned catastrophe of separation. Losing our marriage takes a serious toll on a mans pshycological situation as many have tied so much of their identities and soul into their marriage even if it was not the most perfect of marriages. Some ways this can come out are:
Unease & Tension
As you can see, if a chap is feeling a number of these issues his mental condition, and his life in general, will become a total mess. Taking it on the chin and just moving on cannot be done so easily when you don’t have your home, kids, and a lover and partner to be supportive of you. The rug gets pulled out from under a mans feet and the more they try to get rid of these emotional hinderances the worse they get.
I think this is secondary to the mental troubles but obviously alimony, child support, the division of all assets, and all other expenses involved in separation damage a guy hard. If the man was the only one employed for the family this can also leave a bitter taste which is something many husbands take to their death rather than repairing. Many husbands find themselves in a state of affairs of being middle aged and feeling like they are now in a struggle like they were when they were young despite a better profession or trade. If they have job troubles due to the separation and their mental state this can doubly hurt on men after divorce
Parenthood Issues and Damaged Kids
Kids of course have their own misery through divorce, but a mans sense of being a good father is often destroyed by separation as well. Most dads end up not keeping custody of his children and must be content with visiting them on the weekends if that. This makes them feel like they are not considered good enough to be a dad and can hurt emotionally and socially as most people as a whole seems to look unkindly on them as if it is their fault for the separation and that they cannot care for kids.
Loss of Identity
This is a giant one. To be divorced after putting most of your willpower, money and effort into building your marriage, your family, your identity of being a husband, and perhaps a father too; this is gone within moments when you ultimately realise that the break up is final and you are no longer who you thought you are.
These are variety of other consequences of break up on men but these are some ones that I and some of my mates have struggled with. Sometimes you may be feeling these impact but don’t quite know what they mean as well. Knowing is half the battle as they say, after that you can actually do something about it, even if it is tricky.
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